Oh what an eventful week it has been!

On Sunday night, around 8 pm, I decided that I wanted to take a trip to Washington, D.C. And so, at 12:30 AM, got on the train to DC. It was cool. About a 7 hour train ride, I couldnt sleep. This wasn't the best decision on my part. Sure, I got to DC at the time I wanted to, but I was just so tired and ffelt pretty ill the whole time I was there. BUt, that's ok I got to see many exciting things: The capitol, botanical gardens, holocaust museum, Lincoln Memorial, Washington Monument, the white house, smithsonian national museum of natural history, smithsonian americam museum, etc. It was some sweet action. I took one of those cheap mobile tours and as luck would have it, was surrounded by old folks from the south, exploring their nations capital, or is it capitol? i can never remember. haha.

And on Friday morning, I took the train to NYC to meet my mom and her good friend, Kay. They were staying at the Yale Club, a snobby private club for Yale graduates. Her husband, the late Judge Richard Arnold graduated from their. Anyway, it was really neat. You had to wear black pants and nice closed toed shoes just to come in. haha. We had fun exploring the city and I'm so glad my mom got to see it. We went to the Metroplotian Museum of Art, which I had already visited, but was glad to see it again. It's just so big that it takes like a whole day to get through and really see it. Then, Kay had a meeting at President Clintons office in Harlem and so my mom and I visited the American Museum of Natural History, specifically, the Darwin exhibit. It was amazing. Kay wanted my mom to see Harlem and so we hopped in a cab and took it there. My mom was really scare and got sick to her stomach. I can't really describe it other than saying we were like 2 pieces of white rice in a bowl full of black beans. I loved it--just seeing how other people live--real people--just trying to make it. Then, we all went to the Cloisters Art Museum. It was amazing. It was modeled after a monastery, where monks would live, cloistered, from the outside world. It was a medievil are museum and i really can't describe it. google it. Then, we went to the J.P Morgan Library-J.P, Morgan, rich beyond belief, acquired many wondeful pieces of art throughout his lifetime. I mean, this man had original manuscripts of Edgar Allen Poe, Charles Dickens, Elizabeth Browning, Charlotte Bronte and about a hundred original sketches from Rembrandt. We went to several fine restaurants and of course the Empire State Builidng--a marvelous view. We also saw a broadway show--The Drowsy Chaperone. It was alright....

They left early today and I took a boat taxi to see Lady Liberty. It was neat. And then I visted ground zero, the world trade center memorial. It was heavy. What struck me the hardest, I think, was the police car inside the grounds. Where, a police officer, perhaps the first one on the scene, parked his car, got out, and just never came back. Lost forever. Really frightening.

Currently, I'm sufferering with a rally bad sunburn. grrr.

I am so thankful for the experiences I have had. My imagination ran wile this weekend. I kept seeing older women with their daughters and grand children...coming to visit the city together. I would love to share the city with someone someday. It's a wonderful place...I wold love to show it to a child...you know--their first big trip. I've been thinking a lot about what I want out of life. I've decided I want a family. I could go it alone. But, I don't want to. I want to share it with someone. I want to raise children,...how wonderful would that be. Quite. We'll see...i mean they would have to be cool...no prissy missy's who can't handle the jungle...know what I mean? haha. My god, i think i'm maternal...somebody call and ambulance. =)

emily

The things I've learned...

mustard is cheaper than mayo

the heel of the bread is a piece of bread too!

hair curl stuff dries your hair out-which mean you don't have to wash it as much-which means you save money on not buying shampoo's

i never want to eat chinese or drink anything cherry flavored again

Dan Brown's books are all too similar

i can make skirts into punky shirts

my mom does know how to use a computer...including instant messenger

my dad has a white bible that has been on the top shelf of our kitchen for 10 years. he knows it's there and gets ticked off if you move it.

flashing my ID to get into the lab makes me feel special.

the people here know nothing about primate ecology-just experimentation

therefore, it is my goal in life to mesh ecologists with cognitive scientists

i might want a tattoo.....but i might not

i'm glad i'm an EEE

i love the north

i prefer the south

lab work is booooooring!

field work is fuuuuuuuuun!

i love music.

Repondez s'il-vous-plait...

if you would like to see more if where i'm coming from on this, you could visit http://www.atheists.org/christianity/

http://www.evolvefish.com/

http://www.atheistalliance.org/conventions/2006/

http://www.venganza.org/

Maintenant, je crains que je suis incapable d'articuler sur ici la façon je pourrais à haute voix ou dans la personne. J'ai fait mon mieux. Fondamentalement, l'évolution n'est pas la seule raison je nie que l'existence d'un suprême est. C'est va de pair avec beaucoup de choses dans la science. Mais, parce que l'évolution est mon foyer, je veux faire ce clair, de mon point de vue. Vous devez choisir. Les gens qui ne choisissent pas, et j'ai utilisé pour être un d'eux, font simplement leur meilleur rester confortable. La vie est compliquée. Mais, ceci est noir et blanc. Je ne suis pas un penseur simple et pourtant cette déclaration semble si simple. Peut-être c'est juste cela. ...

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       Ouvrir vos yeux, vos gens. Pourquoi c'est ceci dur ? J'ai vu que plus d'athées a persécuté que chrétiens. Vous savez c'est vrai. Je suis embarassed de qui je viens de. Je veux habiter en la paix avec les autres qui pensent comme moi. Comment longtemps dois-je vaciller d'aimé un poisson dans ce monde étranger ? ! Jésus était un mortel. L'évolution existe. Le remettre de. Comment suis-je supposé pour élever des enfants dans cette fantaisie ce monde rempli ? Ce sera une corvée. Je veux qu'ils aient su que la vérité et ne le craint pas. C'est la vie. L'apprécier pendant qu'il dure. Pour c'est le seul un vous serez accordé.

Sometimes you have to go through a window.

Ok well time for an update...

i've been having a grand ole time with the monkeys. they keep me busy. you should all call my cell phone for latest update via my answering machine. i won't answer but i promise you'll be entertained. I've been searching for something productive to do. I thought about volunteering at the AIDS clinic here. But, I've never seen it, only heard of it...and i don't have transportation. Maybe i'm just making excuses. I have a really crazy desire to paint. I've had it for about 2 weeks. I've got some cool ideas...but of course, no canvas. Ah well...when i get come it's paint city.

Today, I was walking home from the gym, listening to my ipod when this skinny black lady stops me. Here's the deal, even if i'm not listening to music, I wear my ipod and headphoens...or else i would be doped into giving every person that asked for money on the streets some money. ANd so, our eyes met and i had to take out the head phones and listen. It was getting dark and no one was in the immediate are and so i was a bit on edge i will admit. She tells me she has a drug problem. she wants help. not money. help. "where can i find transportation to get me to a drug program?" She says the police won't help her and that she has been on the streets since she was 13. I believe her when she tells me she has a drug problem...i think the random tick (like a dog snarling it's teeth without  the growl) gave it away. I felt so sorry for her. I'm honest with her. I tell her I have no money with me...i just came from the hym. No telling what she thought as she could hear Micheal JAckson blaring from my still on ipod. Then i notice, she has her hand in her shirt and is fiddling with something. THis disturbes me a bit. She tells me she knows she looks awful and that she knows she's probably freaking me out. People begin to trickle by and i try to wave someone down on the sly and she kind of notices. I play it off and tell her...oh i know him. Why the heck am i making excuses!? I wanted to help her. BUt, not bad enough to be any more uncomfortable than i already was. "I have AIDS." she says. "CAn you put me on a bus?" I don't have money!!!! I direct her to the nearest bus station again and again. she won't go. Finally, i'm like...."Look, you seem to be a pretty smart person. I haven't seen you around here before and I've gotten to most people who hang out here just by passing by. YOu've planted yourself right in the heart of Yale and I know my ipod, Yale hat and blonde highlighted hair probaly scream MONEY MAYBE CAN HELP. But, I honestly don't have money or trust me I would have already given you every cent.If you walk one more block there are dozens of other people just like me who arent coming form the gym who could help. I'm sorry for your situation and i genuinely commend you for what you'r doing. don't give up." Then, she wanted to follow me to my apartment. I got the hell out of dodge. It makes me really sad. I wanted to help. I want to believe that she really wanted help. Actually, no i don't. B/c she asked for help and i couldnt do anything. she probably thinks i was lieing. If so, i hope she doesnt judge the rest of the people out there by me. blah.................

I'm bored. I have to go into the lab early tomorrow and finish up this apparatus for one of the experiments and then i'm off to Manhattan. GET EXCITED!!! i know i am. i'm going to try out the subway. this should be interesting.

Also, I'm staying longer than I thought. It's a really long story but I'll try to sum it up...

A few times I've been asked, "Are you a Fossey or a Goodall?" Now, if you don't know who these women are then do yourselves a favor and google them or something.k? Most people i know say "Goodall." Not me. No way. I'm not calm enough or sweet enough to be a Goodall. I'm a Fossey. More on the controversial, determined and crazy side. B/c lets be honest, one has to be half crazy to go into primatology anyway. Long story short, I've been reading about Dian Fossey and her work since I was about 16 or 17. If you've seen the movie Gorillas In the Mist you know who I'm talking about. Anyhow, I have started my search for a grad school. And it turns out that you're supposed to find a professor that is doing the same kind of research you are intersted in and then apply there...don't simply choose by institution. So, I started and lookind and ironically have become friends with a few grad students here. One girl, a grad student in the anthro dept. spoke to me about Dr. David Watts. I had never heard of him. But, as soon as I got home I looked him up. All i can say is wow. He does research i've only dreamed of someday doing. And get this...He took over the Karisoke Research Center (which was founded by Dian Fossey) after her murder in 1985. He continues to take students to the site each year, studying gorillas and chimpanzees. So, basically, he won't be back form Uganda until August 12 and i'm not leaving until i talk to him. That's right i'm going to play the sophisticated stalker. haha. So, here I go...through another window. (hopefully)

best

EBO

apologies for errors in typing....haha...

Update....

for any of you that really keep up with me, you know that I was having a lil bit of a rough time here....minus the university...it's pretty dull in New Haven, Connecticut in the summer. And it is also rather difficult to make friends here! As expected, the northeast is much more fast paced than the south. I am the only intern from that isn't from the surrounding area...and so New York, New Haven, and hanging out in general is really old news to them. Not all is lost, though, as I was lucky enough to find a few good people.

I went to New York today...by myself! I can just see some of you making sad faces behind your computers. spare me. Yes, I think initially I thought it would have been much more fun to have had someone to share it with. But, I had a lot of fun by myself. I mean, I seriosuly doubt many people would have wanted to skip out on typical NYC stuff and go to the American Museum of Natural History...they're special exhibit is on DARWIN. I cried in the exhibit...not even kidding. They have his journals...his actual, original ideas and plotted phylogenies!!! The bookstore. AH the bookstore. There aren't even words. I know I know...i'm being dramatic...but I'm telling you I was like a kid in a candy store. They had sections like....mammology, paleontology, anthropology, primatology, etc. They had books I had only heard of and tried to find, tried to afford to order. They had books that I have...books that I would grab if my house was burning down....they had them in bulk. It was encouraging. I bought a $50.00 book. and a Darwin bag. teehee. I also visited the Metropolitan Museum of Art...which was HUGE and absolutely amazing as well. It will take another visit for me to appreciate it though. I need to do my homework on it. And I visited the Central Park Zoo...which was bad. And basically all of central park and Fifthe Avenue...and made it back by train/cab to the cognition lab by 5:15. I've been a busy girl. I really enjoyed NYC...i can't wait to go back.

Other news: 1)  two of my friends had babies on Monday! happy face. 2) Whitney is moving back to Texas. sad face. big sad face.

**The rest of this post comes from a comment Miss Showalter left me in regards to my last post...

"You know i'm not gonna try to change your mind or get all preachy with you.  but it sounds to me like you're a little homesick, and therein lies your proof.  you can't very well be homesick for a place that doesn't exist."

I've thought about this a lot. I started thinking about it when I first read the book Waking the Dead...it's not about dead people...it's actually a great book, i thought. A lot of the book is about how we all long for something...b/c we were supposed to be one thing but b/c Adam and Eve had to screw everything up..now we have to deal w/ it and it is all postponed until we meet our maker. The thing is...that just doesn't do it for me anymore. While that used to be proof enough for me to sign on the dotted line, it's just not enough anymore. I don't know how to say any of this without sounding like I think I know what I'm talking about...not trying to sound cocky! It's kind of like when I was a teenager and decided I wanted to be a veterinarian. I thought this sounded like a great idea at the time. But, it was because I had volunteered at an animal clinic for 5 years. My best friend wanted to be a veterinarian, her mother was a vetererinarian, and so naturally I wanted to be one. I wanted what I saw...to practice the type of medicine those doctos did and to live the type of lives they lived. They day I found out that there were people who worked with animals, studied animals (not just the med stuff) and were considered professionals (Doctorate) my world changed. Before, I had no idea about these other options--and there are many! While I still remained open to being a veterinarian...I pursued the other options (Primatology) because the more i learned about it, the more I knew that is what I wanted to devote my life to. Does that make any kind of sense? Also, I feel like I was conditioned (we all were) from a young age. I was conditioned to fear god,love god, obey god, obey the church, parents, etc. But, if you take the conditioning out of the situation...would I have prayed to another? Would I long for something? If I had grown up initially thinking there was no higher power then how would I when someone dies? This is the big question b/c this is what faith is...faith that we are going to live on, that we will make to the promised land. Well, if I had grown up thinking a dead person was just dead after their body shut down, then I see no reason to think that I would have a loss of hope. However, when you grow up thinking that you will live on, that your friends and family will live on after they die...it makes the change of spiritual to non-spiritual difficult. B/c I have so many wonderful memories that have to do with church, with faith, with healing, I so want to cling to the god I once knew. But, all that means is that in a time of desparation, I am clinging to something for comfort, which invalidates faith in a serious way. There is no proof in longing for something I was conditioned to long for. Children are not born spiritual. They are made, they model spritiuality, etc. I think I'm forgetting something but I'll stop here.